translucent boxer man

there are some visions that just are not meant for the human eye. i was exposed, and i do mean exposed, to one of those visions this evening.

i was roaming the back roads of my neighborhood, walking off the stress of the day. my mind was elsewhere or i might have been able to spare myself and prevent the permanent scarring my eyes no doubt suffered.

the roads run behind the townhouses where i live so each garage door faces the street. at that hour they were all closed except for the one at the end of the block. i thought nothing of it. usually someone is saying goodbye to company. a dinner guest, girlfriend, you get the picture. or they are like me and either leaving on a walk or returning from one.

boy was i wrong.

as i came even with the garage i happened to turn my head to the left and there he was in all his glory: translucent boxer man.

he was standing with his back to me (thank god for small favors) wearing nothing but white translucent boxers, rolled down socks and hiking boots. and this man was so pale he must have been a vampire or at least a model for the cover of some gothic vampire romance novel.

trust me it was not a pretty site.

and then just when i thought i was safe, things went from bad to worse, translucent boxer man turned to close his garage door and there reflected in the moonlight barely hidden by the boxers was his "package" for the world to see.

i scooted out of there as fast as my tired lungs could move me. i walked for a few minutes and came to a wall where i usually sit and catch my breath. it is located next to a post box for outgoing mail.

so i sit down, minding my own business and you guessed it. translucent boxer man pulls up in his car. he gets out of the car still in boxers and hiking boots and walks past me to the mailbox. he drops off his letters turns, gets back in his car and drives back to his house. which mind you was no more than two hundred feet from the mailbox.

if i did not already have insomnia the visions trapped in my skull of translucent boxer man would give it to me.

i think i am going to find some listerine to wash my eyes with.